「 That’s because Mana believes in me. I use my all because I know you believe in me 」
If ever everyone didn’t trust me.
Then inevitably, I’m on my way to failure.
「 Last night, I went to Misuzu’s house 」
I tell Mana.
「 I’ve gone to Mana and Yukino’s house but, Mana’s house was still within my scope of understanding 」
Shirasaka Sousuke’s house was also big.
But, it wasn’t a large mansion that transcended understanding.
Yukino’s my classmate, and I can understand that she’s a rich person who’s going to the same school as me.
「 But, Misuzu’s house has everything different. They’re on the level of luxury. Their standard of living is different from the foundation 」
I remember the nightscape seen from the overly expensive living room of that super luxury apartment.
The soft carpet and the veranda wide enough to have a party.
Walls with original oil paintings.
All of the furnishings were super-class goods.
「 That much? 」
Mana asks me.
「 Yeah. How should I say it? Anyway, it feels like a royalty or the world of the rich. Their wealth isn’t just local, they’re expanded globally 」
What am I talking about?
「 Anyway, Jii-chan’s third son’s house is like that so I can’t imagine the main house of Kouzuki clan 」
If they keep peacocks in the garden, I won’t be surprised anymore.
Or should I say that their garden might be 10x as vast as Tokyo Dome?
Their house might be bigger than Osaka castle.
「 Misuzu and Ruriko are the true Ojou-sama, no, they’re princesses. They’re on the level that I can’t stand up from surprise 」
Reviewing what happened last night, It made me think that way.
You can’t tell the true essence of a person by just looking at the house they usually live in.
「 Then, those girls have been living under restraint as a daughter of Kouzuki house. They don’t have friends to talk to equally, yet they have to smile to anyone 」
If Misuzu and Ruriko caused trouble with other school girls, then.
That school girl, her family, and relatives will suffer cruelty.
Regardless of Misuzu and Ruriko’s will.
The surrounding students, teachers, and adults all move by themselves, fearing the retaliation of Kouzuki house.
Therefore, Misuzu and Ruriko can’t fight anyone.
At the same time, they can’t get along with regular girls.
If they know that Misuzu’s making friends with one, that girl will be envied upon.
Therefore, they always smile at people. Unable to open their heart to anyone, that is the fate of a daughter of Kouzuki house.
Until they met me.
「 When they became my woman, becoming my family. Misuzu and Ruriko was able to open up their minds freely in front of us 」
「 In front of Onii-chan 」
「 Only for Onii-chan. You love them naked, without relation to the authority of Kouzuki house 」
「 No, it’s not just me. Everyone too 」
「 No. Minaho-neechan are in the position where they have to consider the power and influence of Kouzuki house, Megu-oneechan and I take a step back when it comes to the ladies of Kouzuki house 」
Mana looks at Agnes.
「 I don’t think Agnes-chan and Edie-chan thinks of it but, they’re not in the same position as Onii-chan to hold them back 」
Indeed, Agnes and Edie don’t know the authority of Kouzuki house though.
「 In the end, it’s Onii-chan. The main point of our family. Onii-chan’s hugging us with arms wide, so that’s why we gather together 」
「 But, that also has its limits. 」
「 I know that Misuzu and Ruriko were so glad that they can’t hold back last night. They’ve always lived with their minds subdued, so they feel delighted to release their hearts. They feel like spring has come and flowers have bloomed. They might’ve acted loosely but, thinking about it now, those girls want to let loose with all their heart 」
Peeing on the veranda, having sex while trying not to be discovered by the guards.
It felt that they’re overdoing it but.
「 I thought I could do anything I wanted to, and I really did all of it 」
I must meet their expectations.
I’m their man.
「 But, Misuzu and the girls have said it jokingly since they’re feeling ecstatic but, they mentioned that they want to increase my women even more. They wanted to bring girls from their school 」
「 That’s nice. Misuzu-oneechan has the eyes to see through people, and they’ll pick rich girls, right? There’s no problem, is there? 」
Misuzu’s school is Japan’s number one super-ojou-sama school in Japan.
Misuzu will definitely pick all good girls among those.
Beautiful, smart, and has a good personality.
「 What about me? Will I be able to accept all those girls? 」
I have a limit.
Mentally, and physically too.
「 O-Onii-chan? 」
「 No, if it happens then I’ll accept them. Misuzu and Ruriko believe that I’ll receive any number of women. Therefore, I have to meet their expectations 」
If they trust me, then I have to achieve it.
「 Sorry, Onii-chan, I also thought that Onii-chan can accept as many girls as possible 」
「 No, it’s okay. If that’s what Mana believes in, then let it be 」
「 I’ll do all my best to gain everyone’s trust. No matter how hard or fearful is it, I’ll do it 」
That is why I desperately lived through the chaotic battle in these past few days.
Just to meet everyone’s expectations.
「 But, Yukino. It’s impossible with Yukino. Mana thinks that I might accept Yukino too but, it’s impossible with her 」
Yukino’s looking at us without saying anything.
「 Why, Onii-chan? 」
「 Yukino doesn’t trust me. To Yukino, the “me” trembling deep inside my heart, afraid, is completely visible 」
Yukino’s eyes look at me.
「 She can see through my true nature 」
I raped Yukino.
Again and again.
I embraced Yukino’s body as if I’m clinging; while trembling in fear.
She’s seen through this me in pieces.
「 To Yukino, I’m just a powerless, helpless, scum of a high school boy. Yukino’s the only one who can see the true me. I know 」
When I first raped Yukino, I was in despair.
「 I wonder about that? 」
「 I don’t know anything about you. I don’t even want to know, I’m not interested. Not now, not ever
She says while looking at me coldly.
「 But anyway, I know that you’re just a crazy and idiot beyond saving. Therefore, I’m cautious around you. I don’t know what a madman would do suddenly after all 」
Yukino knows that I killed Cesario Viola.
「 Anyway, Maika. I know that you’re worried about me in your own way. Thanks. I’ll say thanks at least even though it’s really annoying 」
Yukino tells her sister. She shows a harsh face.
「 Yukino-oneechan 」
「 Maika, you’ll manage to live somehow by swinging your tail to Yuzuki and Kouzuki house. If that’s Maika’s choice, then I won’t object. Why not. I’d like to decline that life as a slave but, Maika has no other choice, right? Your body is weak, you don’t have any worth, so you can just live by trying to flatter him. Pet, slave, they’re all silly I can’t help but feel disgusted! 」
Yukino curses her sister.
「 This is ridiculous! Is it really fun to play family that much?! What your doing is just licking wounds! Weak people are relying on each other licking each other’s tears! Nothing is impressive nor great at that! Are you idiots?! You all have some loose screws! 」
「 Yeah, you’re right, Yukino. We’re crazy. What we’re doing is all wrong 」
「 Onii-chan? 」
「 But, we’ll go this way. In this wrong way. We’ll live adamantly while trampling on both laws and ethics. Then, we’ll become happy, we’ll definitely become happy 」
I hug Agnes in my arms.
Agnes big blue eyes look up at me curiously.
「 You’ll become happy?! Don’t fuck with me! You’re a murderer! 」
I killed Cesario Viola with this hand.
「 Even Papa, you all killed him!!!! 」
Yukino attacks us.
「 What about it? 」
I speak clearly
「 Are you going to live without paying for your sins?! You people don’t have the qualification to become happy!! 」
Yukino shouts at me.
「 Even without the qualification, we have the duty to become happy 」
The warmth of Agnes in my arms tells that.
「 I am the bad guy. I’m sure I’ll fall to hell. But, I will definitely make my family happy. Absolutely. By all costs. I will do anything for it. If I have to kill someone again, then I won’t hesitate to kill 」
I’m already living in such a world.
「 I’m a member of a crime group “Kuromori” I’m a man of Kuromori house 」
That’s right, I’m the only man in this house.
「 You’re crazy!!! You’re insane!!! 」
Yukino says while trembling.
「 I don’t care whatever you tell me, so go on, speak. I have a family I have to protect. I treat my family preciously, more than my own life 」
「 Onii-chan! That’s enough! It’s okay now! 」
Mana hugs me from behind.
Agnes in my arms, Mana in my back, these two warm bodies support my heart.
「 What?! That’s stupid! You should stop being half-baked, you’re just doing that to look cool! What family You hypocrite! Egoist!! 」
「 You just think of yourself as loved! You met people that spoil you for the first time in your life that’s why you feel so happy! Do you not get it!? Idiot! 」
Yukino’s eyes look at me.
「 Look, after you feel so high, you’ll be thrown away and fall soon! After all, there’s a lot of men better than you in this world! The girls from Kouzuki will notice that and abandon you. My condolences! Then, Yuzuki and Kouzuki house will leave you too. You’ll fall to hell in a swoop 」
Yukino’s looking at me.
「 That’ll happen soon. Once that happens, go creep on the ground and die disgustingly! Go die in a much more miserable face than Papa! That’s the suitable death for trash like you!!!! That’s best for your last moments! 」
Haa, haa, Yukino breathes heavily.
She spits up all the hatred and anger she has in one go and throws it to me.
「 Well yeah. Yukino’s right. I’m sure it’ll happen 」
「 You’re really sharp, I think that your strength in analyzing people other than yourself is impressive 」
Yukino has the power to judge.
Why can she not use that power on herself is unknown though.
「 Onii-chan? What are you talking about? 」
Mana asks me.
「 No, Yukino’s right. Misuzu and Ruriko will meet a lot of men so someday, they’ll meet a man better than me. Then, they’ll notice that I’m just a useless guy. Then they’ll part from me 」
「 What are you talking about. Onii-chan?! 」
「 But, Misuzu and Ruriko are kind, so I don’t think they’ll throw away Kuromori. Of course, they’ll support Mana for the rest of your life. The two of them keep their promises once they said it 」
「 Onii-chan 」
「 Mana too, you’re relying on me so much right now. But, I don’t need Mana to devote her life to me. If ever Mana finds a man she likes then you don’t need to feel obligated and disappear when you want to 」
「 Please don’t say something silly like that 」
I look up at the ceiling.
「I have the resolve to make everyone happy, that’s all. Right now, the family might need me. Mana’s right, I might be the key to this family 」
「 In the end, it’s all just for now. Sooner or later, inevitably, everyone won’t need me anymore. When that happens, everyone will outgrow from me and become happier 」
「 That’s not true 」
Mana’s desperately clinging to me, rubbing her cheek on my back.
「 No, but that’s inevitable. I’m just a useless man, inferior to others. Now I may be needed, but everyone’s strong, so they shouldn’t be with me forever. You girls need to find someone more amazing than me 」
「 There’s no one better than Onii-chan! 」
「 There is, after all, I’m really a useless man 」
I have no qualification to be loved.
These girls are all beautiful, smart, cute.
「 I see, so you know that the girls will abandon you someday 」
「 I won’t! I will remain with Onii-chan forever! 」
Mana glares at her sister angrily.
「 Oh, scary! Maika, when women say that, they immediately change their mind when a better man appears 」
「 I’m not that kind of woman! 」
Mana shouts. Yukino laughs.
「 Then what? Either way, you know that they’ll abandon you someday, so you still want to devote yourself to these women? Trying to prolong the time before they leave you even for a bit? That’s quite the effort 」
She laughs at me.
「 That’s not it 」
「 I just don’t want to regret it 」
I look into Yukino’s eyes.
「 Perhaps, someday, everyone will part from me. Then, they’ll become happy. They’ll probably forget about me. No, they have to forget about me 」
They’ll erase me from their memory. I have to disappear.
「 But, I’ll remember them. I won’t forget. I’ll never forget. Therefore, I want to devote myself to the people I loved. That’s what I think 」
If not, I’ll regret it.
Regret is a nightmare that never disappears.
「 Hah! I don’t get what you’re talking about. Well, of course, I won’t. After all, you’re crazy. You’re in a world I don’t understand from the beginning. There’s no way I would understand! 」
Yukino speaks as if spitting out.
「 Oh, I wonder? 」
Suddenly, the door opens, and Katsuko-nee appeared.
「 You and he are very similar, on not trusting people 」
Saying that; she takes a photo of us.
「 “Take a photo of your family. You’ll forget them someday after all.” said Araki-san, A photographer! 」
Then, she takes another photo.
She snaps a photo of us looking confused.
「 “The argument is approaching the conclusion, so I should go soon,” Ojou-sama told me Mana-chan’s approach didn’t work well it seems
Mana’s plan on inviting Yukino to the family has failed.
「 Now then 」
Katsuko-nee puts the camera aside.
「 I can understand why Yukino-san doesn’t trust people at all 」
She looks at Yukino while saying that.
「 After all, her father is like that. I also saw what her mother is like. If you’re raised with such selfish people, who look down on people and judge everything out of profit-and-loss, of course, you will grow up like her 」
「 I-I! 」
Yukino tries to object, but Katsuko-nee ignores her and turns to Mana.
「 In that regard, it’s great that Mana-chan’s raised in her relatives’ house in Shizuoka. So, she grew up as a child who can trust people who can protect her 」
Yeah, I think that the Shizuoka house was a good environment for Mana.
Better than Tokyo, with her real family.
「 You’re the one who doesn’t get it 」
Katsuko-nee looks at me.
「 We know your past. You grew up ignored by your father and mother, and on top of that, abandoned. In reality, you should’ve grown up as a child with a cold heart and not trust anyone like Yukino 」
That’s right, I.
「 Yet, you grew up as a kind child. You had your grandmother who took care of you when you were young, didn’t you? 」
「 Your grandmother has raised you with love, you have that memory, so you grew up as a kind boy. Isn’t that right? 」
Katsuko-nee looks at me.
「 That’s right, you’re very kind, that’s for sure. Yet, why do you not believe people? Why do you always assume that everyone will abandon you? 」
「 There should be a reason inside of you. Talk about it with us 」
「 You don’t want to say it no matter what? Is it something you can’t tell us? 」
「 That’s not true 」
「 Then talk about it 」
「 Yes, please talk about it Onii-chan 」
Katsuko-nee and Mana look at me.
Yukino’s looking at me coldly.
Minaho-neesan is surely watching.
「 My Grandma was really kind. She’s always helping me out. She loved me 」
I remember Grandma’s smile. Her kind smile.
「 But, Grandma forgot about me 」
Grandma on the hospital bed.
Her cold face looks atme.
「 What do you mean? Could you explain it further? 」
Katsuko-nee tells me.
「 When I was in second grade, Grandma has died but. At first, she collapsed at home. In the evening, she suddenly felt sick. Then, she was taken to the hospital by an ambulance. Ah, I’m the one who called the ambulance. Grandma or I am not supposed to use the phone in the house, so I went outside to a public telephone 」
I was scared.
Scared that Grandma might die.
「 In the ambulance, Grandma held my hand all the time. She told me “Thank you, thank you” She looks up at me, Grandma back then knows me 」
「 When she arrived at the hospital, Father comes from the office in a panic. Then she took emergency surgery, and the operation took hours 」
I was waiting for the surgery to end at the hospital with Father until morning.
「 I prayed so hard, hoping for Grandma not to die, to get better. I prayed until the operation was over 」
I couldn’t forget the chill at the hospital room.
「 Then, when the operation was over, that day, Grandma didn’t wake up, and she regained consciousness three days later 」
「 When she woke up, Grandma forgot me 」
Those eyes looking at me saying “Who?”
「 Forgot? 」
Katsuko-nee asks me.
「 Yeah, completely gone from the memory. She knows Father. She remembers his name. But, she completely forgot my name, that I’m her grandson. She doesn’t even understand when father explained it 」
I disappeared from her head.
「 Of course. For Grandma, ever since Father got married, the time since I was born was all just pain. My Mother has treated her harshly 」
Mother treated Grandma like a slave.
「 Besides, I was just 9 years old, I haven’t lived with Grandma for ten years. Even if she remembers Father who lived with her for 30 years, she forgot about me 」
Grandma didn’t even remember that Father got married.
In Grandma’s memory, Father is still single, and the two of them are living together.
Therefore, I don’t exist.
「 In the end, her stamina has declined, and Grandma died at the hospital. She didn’t remember me until the end 」
Even though she loved me so much.
I was just…
「 Therefore, you think that we’ll forget about you too 」
Katsuko-nee looks at me.
What a sad expression she makes.
「 Because it’s unknown. You don’t know what will happen to people 」
「 But, I remember Grandma holding my hand in the ambulance. Her hands are wrinkled and bony, but it was warm. I remember her telling me “thank you,” again and again 」
Grandma who forgot about me after hospitalization.
She hated my touch.
I was a stranger to her.
「 I won’t forget, therefore, no matter what, I’ll do my best! I’ll never forget! I’ll never part from it!!! 」
Even if everyone forgets about me
「 Agnes won’t forget Papa!! 」
Agnes who’s been listening to my story silently; looks up at me.
「 I’ll never forget. So please cheer up. Papa 」
Agnes has completely forgotten about Shirasaka Sousuke who she worshipped so much before.
The “Papa” in Agnes’ memories were overwritten by me.
Agnes doesn’t remember Shirasaka Sousuke.
「 What’s wrong, Papa? 」
She might forget me someday.
No, I’m sure she will.
「 Please don’t make a sad face. Papa. Agnes loves Papa!! 」