Ruyan noticed her confusion and quickly elaborated: “Yes, name, mine is Liu Ruyan. This is my senior sister, Zhuo Jianshi. What’s yours?”
She introduced themselves to her. The woman glanced at Ruyan then Jianshi and tilted her head in contemplation. She seemed to be trying to remember her name, but after a long time, she replied: “I don’t know…?”
The girls felt a bit sad while looking at the hazy woman who couldn’t recall her name. It looked like something was missing from her life.
The woman’s eyes darted over to Li Qiye as she questioned: “Do I have a name?”
Li Qiye looked at her peerless appearance and mused for a moment before smiling: “You have no name in this world. Let’s call you Fairy then, a woman from a distant world.” 1
Fairy repeated her name and had no objections. Although “fairy” was not a name, the girls felt that it was very appropriate. It seemed that outside of her, no one else should be called “fairy”.
Fairy seemed to be without joy and worries. She sat down next to Li Qiye and curiously looked at him: “What’s your name, then?”
“Li Qiye.” Li Qiye smiled and gently fixed the loose hair on her forehead: “My parents said that I cried for seven days and nights after being born. However, crying is not necessarily a bad thing. It shows that there are still things in this world that can make you sad. If one can’t even feel sadness, then their world would be too bleak.”
He paused for a moment before continuing: “They also said that I was really cute and cried a lot as a baby. Of course, those were tears of happiness, showing that this world was still splendid and beautiful. On the other hand, if everyone sheds tears instead of just one individual, then that world would be filled with despair. Once its inhabitants lose hope, it would face destruction.”
With that, he softly sighed with a complicated expression.
This comment of his seemed to be random and confusing, but Fairy listened carefully with amusement as if she was feeling something else.
The other girls were intrigued as well. They thought about it and felt that his words encompassed many different meanings.
It sounded like he was talking about himself but also not at the same time. Crying was definitely the topic, but it wasn’t the fundamental focus.
There were some secrets hidden within these words that the two girls were unaware of. Fairy sat there quietly without replying. Her expression was melancholic, even a bit lonely and dazed.
Her astral eyes were flashing as if she was recalling something but couldn’t quite grasp it.
“My heart aches.” In the end, she told him this. It was a sudden remark without any reasons.
Li Qiye held her jade-like hand and solemnly looked into her eyes: “Pain is good, it shows that you are alive.”
“Is it the same for you?” She stared at his eyes as if wanting to peer into the windows of his mind. Her clear gaze would illuminate his inner world.
Li Qiye contemplated her question before revealing a smile: “As long as the heart is alive and beating, it will feel pain. However, a long-lasting pain will eventually lead to numbness. Life and death, departures and farewells — all of this will lead to calluses.”
The confused woman asked: “Will it eventually be torn apart?”
“That depends on the person.” Li Qiye still had a smile on his face: “I won’t let my heart be torn because I am a murderous devil, the hand of darkness. In this world, where I am shall be filled with corpses and blood. I am numb to life and death, so regardless of how the world is, I will never taste that tearing sensation again.”
“Really?” Her eyes were both clear yet hazy. She stretched out her hand to touch his face as if wanting to feel his existence and heartbeat.
He didn’t answer her question. A long silence ensued.
“Your heart will feel pain.” Eventually, she sincerely looked at him with the demeanor of a serious child.
Li Qiye’s expression turned stiff for a moment. After a long while, he replied: “That day will not come. I won’t allow it.”
She curiously asked while tilting her head: “Why?”
“Because I am Li Qiye. After making preparations for ages… my hands will find the answer to everything.” With that, he slowly closed his eyes.
These words incited some memories within her, but not anything specific. It was as if there were matters or things that had been lingering in her mind. She seemed to hear crying in the distance. It was intangible and surrealistic.
Fairy asked: “Did you hear the cries?”
Li Qye slowly answered: “I have never heard the cries before, not that I’m able to.”
“Why not?” She acted like a little girl ignorant of this world.
He took his time answering: “A murderous devil does not care for the lamenting wails, so I do not hear them.”
“You are not a devil.” She frowned. Despite her current innocent state, she was quite firm in this response.
“I’m not a savior either.” Li Qiye couldn’t help but smile.
Fairy ruminated the answer and found it logical before nodding in agreement.
The rest of the group stared at them while listening to this strange conversation. These two behaved so naturally that if they hadn’t been watching from the start, they would have mistaken them for old friends.
Moreover, their dialogue was incredibly bizarre and inexplicable beyond comprehension, as if they were from a different world.
She eventually asked him like an inquisitive student: “What must be done for the heart to not ache and the ears to not hear the cries?”
Li Qiye looked at her in contemplation before holding her hands and earnestly saying: “There has never been a right answer for this issue, but I can give you two possible choices if you must know. First, stop worrying about it, you will grow numb as time passes. One day, you will stop feeling pain and the cries shall disappear.”
Fairy pondered and found that this was not the answer she wanted. She looked at him again and asked: “What about the second?”
“Kill the villainous heavens.” Li Qiye was completely serious: “This is a solution to your question. Alas, there is a chance that what you will find is … more pain and cries…”
She wholeheartedly considered this second answer for a very long time. This prompted the next question: “Would killing the villainous heavens really give an answer? One without pain and anguish?”
Li Qiye sat back down and spoke with sorrow: “I don’t know because no one has been successful before, thus there is no answer. As I said before, what you might find after killing him is even more agony.”
She carefully savored his answer. Her star-like eyes were flashing randomly. The same fluctuations in her memories appeared again. In the end, nothing returned.
She eventually inquired after a long reflection: “What should I do, then?”
“That’s up to you.” Li Qiye gently sighed in response after showing a brief smile: “Everyone has their own path, but not all wish to start this journey in fear of failure for not reaching the end. It might be better to stop halfway.”
He sentimentally concluded: “Ignorance can be bliss. Being in charge of the present is to have everything. Some have love, some have authority, and others are content with just having offspring. That is happiness to them. Ignorance is wonderful and very enviable.”
1. Note, fairy here = immortal + woman. Ren hates using the word fairy for immortal woman. He advocated femmortal instead at one time. The reason I’m pointing this out is because the word immortal is always in high emphasis, especially when Li Qiye said that she is from a distant world. Fairy alone doesn’t connect the two.